finding myself.

NOW that A has left for work again, I find myself alone one more time. My world has changed ever since I met the love of my life. No. My world has changed because everything changes, sooner or later. Looking back, there are a lot of things I have gained -a new love, new perspective, new attitude. There are also a lot of things I have lost along the way -some good, some bad. Here I hope to pick some of the good things back again and gain more along the way.

This is how I plan to do it.
1. journal - I used to love to write. i used to be good at it. Two journals, a prying fatso and a piggy later, I abandoned them all together. I've been in a lot of pressure lately and has not been handling stress well. In fact, I'm starting to regress. I hope that with this, I could put my thoughts to rest and be able to make space for better things.

2. planner - I started using a planner when I missed an exam just because I lost track of the day. There has been a point in my life that I became so obsessed with these little things. And back then, honestly, my life was more organized, my brain less cluttered. I could use a little less clutter right now. From now on, I'll including looking at my planner as part of my daily routine.

3. tickler - One of the most valuable things that I learned from my corps days was carrying a tickler. I was never found without one. Until a few months and a couple of tight uniforms later, my tickler lost its place in my outfit. I'll find you somehow.

4. whiteboard - I would usually get up early in the morning only to forget what I needed to do. Hours later, I remember what they were but then my alarm rings, it's time to go to school.

5. artofmanliness (along with If and anthologies) - and what is more, you'll be a man my son.

6. dumpnotes - oh those were the good old days that I still have time to read for leisure. I hope to find time again.

6. binder - It may still be too early in this phase. But we'll see. Don't worry.

One way or another I'm gonna find ya
I'm gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha
One way or another I'm gonna win ya
I'll getcha, I'll getcha
One way or another I'm gonna see ya
I'm gonna meetcha meetcha meetcha meetcha
One day, maybe next week
I'm gonna meetcha, I'll meetcha! 

heart strong

A told me that I was weak -my body, my mind and my will, little by little, is failing me.
I refuse to bow down! I will strive to be strong! I will be strong!

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
to serve your turn long after they are gone,   
and so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

hold on!

YOU must want it. 

You must want it as much your lungs wants oxygen!

The more you sweat in training,

the less you bleed in war.

Just go! Go for the black out.