answer to my plea.

I have mentioned in my earlier post that I have been caught up with another mini mid-quarter life crisis -torn between pursuing my ideals and being with the love of my life; career vs family. Well, the answer came in just in time. Here is what A told me, without me even asking him:

Mahal ko, think of this. Kung ano man ang plans mo for your career, all out support ako diyan. Do what you want kasi kung kelangan kong mag-adjust, mag-aadjust ako for you, ok?

life lessons from a memaid.

RECENTLY, I have been caught up with another mini mid-quarter life crisis. I am torn between pursuing my ideals and being with the love of my life; career versus family. B has already told me before that the both are not mutually exclusive and it is possible to balance the two. But then again, at the end of the day, there will still be compromises. And so, again, I roamed the online world looking for answers and inspiration. Then I stumbled upon this blog.

Anna Oposa took up BA English Studies in UP Diliman. In between her job as freelance writer and public speaker, she saves the marine world, one shark at a time. She is the co-founder of Save Philippine Seas. Here are some life lessons from the Chief Mermaid herself.

1. Traveling will show you how much you know and how much you have yet to learn.

2. Losing your job could be the best thing that could happen to you, if you choose to see it that way. The more time you spend with the wrong job means less time with the right one.

3. Make friends with people you wouldn’t normally make friends with.

4. As your network expands, keep your oldest friends closer. They loved you before the titles and awards, when your socks were too high and you hadn’t discovered eyebrow threading. They will keep your feet planted firmly on the ground.

5. People will judge and people will talk. Put your earphones on and focus on doing an excellent job. Work harder than anyone you know. Submit on time. Rehearse and time your presentations. Don’t just prove them wrong, prove yourself right too.

6. Your dreams and ambitions can be overwhelming. You will get panic attacks and doubt your capabilities. Breathe. Fear reminds you that you are on to something important. But do not wait for conditions to be perfect. The only way to begin is to begin.

7. Evaluate the professional and personal growth that work can offer you. Do not be afraid to say no to certain opportunities. Really. Choose a few things that you can excel at, as opposed to many things you can be mediocre at.

8.  Relationships are complicated –that’s why there’s no “in a simple relationship” option. They need work. Swallow your pride every now and then. Learn to say sorry and learn to forgive.

9. Stop hitting the internal snooze button, because every excuse is already a choice to fail. 

10. If you don’t know what to do for the rest of your life, stop worrying because you’re not gonna find it–it will find you. When it does, you will no longer be the one reaching for the stars, they will be reaching out for you.

prawns and more.

I received my first ever salary today -Php 3 9792. It is a little lower than I expected but it's better than nothing. To celebrate, I treated R to a Vietnamese restaurant. I ordered marinated prawns and grilled pork with fried rice. A bit expensive if you ask me but hey, it's nice to treat yourself once in a while. (Note: must ask A to cook this for me.)

During the course of the meal, I told R about my many plans. He told me that the key to success is to focus on a particular dream. Nonetheless, I told him that I have lots of dreams and that I intend to achieve them all. Just to recap, here they are:

- set up an organic farm

- put up a library

- secret garden civil *ehem*

- and finally, live happily ever after with A.

I'll get there, one step at a time.

*photo not mine

words.

WHEN I was younger, I used to like writing -nope, not LIKE but LOVE. I loved writing and poetry and literature. I even have this little notebook before wherein I would write poems and such. I also borrowed books from the library and devoured them to my heart's content. I used to memorize poems and join declamation contests. And back then, I believed I was pretty good. I was associate editor of our school newspaper. I participated  in press conferences and even won 2nd place in Feature Writing.

Alas, a couple of childhood issues and insecurities later, I stopped. I gave up writing all together. I still do read poems and books once in a while, but I have confined myself to technical writing instead.

Events in the past months have caused my childhood issues to resurface again and I told A the whole story. Needless to say, he gave me a boost of confidence and encouraged me to do the things that I love which includes writing. And so, you'll be hearing more from me soon.

To my no. 1 (and perhaps, only reader A), thank you so much for supporting me. I am the luckiest person alive for being loved by you. I love you too, my dear. I hope to hear from you soon!

summer break.

WHEW! A little more than half into my summer break and a lot has happened already.

First off, I got entangled with J and A earlier this year, forcing me to take leave from my beloved volunteer group. Well, I am glad that the issue has been resolved. But of course, I can't go back yet. Not until all wounds have fully healed. I do hope that I could return someday. Sigh.

Well, to keep myself busy (and to earn money as well), I took on a summer job -two actually. One is as a sales and service representative (posh way of saying call center agent. haha.) and the other is as a researcher analyst in a security magazine. It turns out they're actually more stressful than I thought -time-consuming, energy-draining and sleep-depriving. But nevertheless, it's actually nice because I am learning something.

Also, we're currently doing our med school research project. And so, in between the jobs, I am doing fieldwork. We're still in the initial stage so it's not that heavy but I do expect my schedule to busier in the coming days. I also applied for a scholarship so there are a lot of paperworks that I am preparing right now.

In addition, I am currently staying in Diliman, sharing quarters and bunkbeds with my brods. I am actually forgoing the luxuries of having clean bathrooms, spacious bed and continuous internet connection in exchange for secrecy (my parents don't know about my jobs).

I also planned to finish scanning and copying the Pocket EMS handbook and G&A and study USMLE Step 1. But I guess, those have to wait.

crunch. crunch. crunch.

twenty-three.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

my plea.

PLEASE grant me the courage to stand up and face the challenges in front of me. Please give me the wisdom to make the right decisions. Let me be equipped with the necessary will and strength to be the best that I can be in this which could be my finest hour.