so here's the plan.

OVER the past days, I have seriously been reconsidering medical school. I feel as if I have lost all of my passion for it. In fact, I didn't even bother going to school today. I just stayed home and watched Hotel Rwanda,

As I watched the film, I realized that being a doctor is not really my goal in life at all. It is just my means to something more -bringing about a significant change in society. Watching all those refugees and seeing the UN Peacekeepers frustrated at the lack of things they are allowed to do, I told myself, Politics is what I really wanted, needed to be in. I am not saying that I would run for office someday but rather, I would like to have a hand in decision making. And so, my new life plan,

• Finish medical school by 2016 (hopefully)
• Take up residency -currently considering surgery
• Enter the Navy (during residency?)
• After residency, apply to MSF
• Practice medicine in a government hospital (still considering private practice in addition). To augment income, buy stocks, set up business and find other means of earning. At the same time, look for avenues to engage in policy planning.
• Take up Law or MA in International Studies
• Performance in succeeding years would be crucial to be able to be involved in foreign policy making and diplomacy.
• And if A is still willing to go all the way, then :)

Important notes

• I don't need to be in the top of our class but it would be very helpful if I wanted to do practice in a highly competitive tertiary hospital or work with MSF.
• Learn a foreign language (preferrably Spanish, French or Italian). Plus points for MSF and and foreign service.
• Invest in stocks early on. Key to success is time.
• Don't forget political science roots. Read once in awhile.
• Maintain connections. Don't be a hermit. This is IMPORTANT!
• Get old work ethics back! This is crucial at the moment.
• Finally, don't be disheartened. Don't lose sight of the goal.

very sick and tired.

just REMEMBER BATAAN.

good ol' days.

I have two long exams tomorrow that would cover 19 lectures. I am only in trans no. 1 and already I'm feeling a bit lazy. In order to motivate myself, I scrounged my old notes and found my Supremo notebook Vol I. I am amazed at the amount of info I have written in their compared to my current Vol II. Oh, how I used to be passionate, idealistic and enthusiastic! Now I am just a lazy bum trying to get by. I want my old vigour back!

scraps.

THE truth is, I have been bouncing back and forth between bouts of depression for a couple of months now. There were times that I would just stay in bed the whole day and would miss classes. At first, I would fight ever so dearly this episodes and try my hardest to work but as days, weeks and months go on, I got tired and eventually gave up. But I say, no more! No longer would I succumb to such sadness!

scraps of wisdom:

We must proceed in a calm and orderly manner.
- Aung San Suu Kyi

Positive vibes everyday. Sana lagi kang masaya.
- A

Watch your thoughts for they become words. Watch your words for they become actions. Watch your actions for they become habits. Watch your habits for they become your character. And watch your character for it becomes your destiny! What we think, we become.
-The Iron Lady

And yeah, A bought me a new netbook. No reason to fail now.

still not enough.

I have studied hard last night and I felt that I accomplished a lot. Yet, when I came to school this morning, I realized that I barely covered the material. There is still so much to do.

Passion, I need you right now!

on self actualization.

From my old notes:

THERE is nothing wrong with immersing oneself in culture and arts. If man had just sticked to manual labor and worked only with the goal of basic survival, we wouldn't have the likes of Hidalgo, da Vinci, Dickens, Kipling, Mozart and Bach. I believe that every man's goal should be to excel in all line of human endeavor. Nowadays, however, getting by and making a living is quite hard. One must be practical if one wishes to survive these changing times. Sometimes, a part-time job is not enough.

I am not saying that one should completely turn one's back to the arts or the other. Having a job that enables one to put bread on the table and being able to pursue art for art's sake is not mutually exclusive. However, in order to enjoy both, one must work extra hard.



I guess, it is the same way with academics. If I want to engage myself in extracurricular activities, if I want to pursue other interests, then I must be first be able to address the demands of my studies. Hence, be more attentive in class, read lessons in advance, study more efficiently and effectively and minimize lost time. It's the price I have to pay. No pain, no gain, eh?

Something distantly related:

Human beings the world over need freedom and security that they may be able to realize their full potential. -Aung San Suu Kyi

HUSTLE. HUSTLE. HUSTLE.

something to ponder upon.

I read this from another blog and it got me thinking.

Our lives become a series of milestones by which we procrastinate. I’ll travel when I graduate. I’ll write when the semester is finished. I’ll do all those things I love when medicine is finished. But medicine doesn’t finish. It doesn’t go away once you’ve graduated or finished intern year or entered a surgical training program or you own the hospital. However, your youth does finish.

Time to HUSTLE. HUSTLE. HUSTLE.