one day millionaire

Dear husby,

I could say that I have lived a relatively comfortable life. Yes, there were times that we were really financially constrained, especially during the latter part of my medical education. I experienced skipping lunch, walking home from school, making do with 200 pesos for the whole week etc. But these are nothing compared to what some of my colleagues and professors had gone through. Let me relate to you some of them.

I have one professor, a PhD holder and a Ten Outstanding Young Persons of the World (TOYP) awardee. If you look at him now, with his classy clothes and conio air, you wouldn't think that once upon a time, he was among those you could call "poor''. The night before his UPCAT exam, his mother didn't sleep. She was afraid that they might oversleep and that that his son would miss the opportunity to go to college. UP was the only university that they can afford. She even cant accompany him to UP since they only have enough fair for one person.

Another is a neurosurgeon from UP, a stellar student by any other standard. His father's salary was slightly above the minimum wage. They were seven in the family. He wanted to go to medicine, but as the eldest child, it would be selfish of him to do so. His relatives were pressuring him to go take lucrative courses then go abroad instead. (would surely be a waste of intelligence and talent). Fortunately, he was able to enter UP Intarmed.

Now back to me. When we met, I was still living the high life. Not as glamorous as that of my classmates, but I could still afford to go to Areneo without scholarships. In the middle of our relationship, our finances crashed. With very little savings and no investments, we were close to dirt poor! They managed to scrape money and provide for our basic needs, but couldn't afford to pay for my other necessities. I remember pitying myself, thinking, "I was a med student from one of the most prestigious schools in the country, and yet here I am applying in a call center." You saved me, my dear husby. You bought me my phone, laptop and tablet. You paid for my steth, pulse ox etc. You gave me my allowance. You helped me get through med school.

Fast forward to the present, we both have high earning jobs. We can now afford to buy stocks, property, rheeze and s8+. We are living comfortably. But husby, reflecting on these, mahal ko, am I living EXCESSIVELY? Has my spending this past few weeks been unjustifiable? Is this way of life a betrayal of the hardships I had experienced in the past? Is my head to high up in the clouds that my feet are no longer on the ground?

I know of one military doctor, a passionate and humble one. Who also traversed the social strata, from being too poor to earning 70k per month. And yet, he still uses the same laptop he was using in med school. He has a smart phone but is not pressured into buying the latest model.

Husby, I'm sorry if I was acting like a one-day-millionaire. I am becoming the person I used to hate. I used to tell you to live below our means. Please keep reminding me of this piece of wisdom. Please don't spoil me.

I promise to take care of my gadgets. Make do with what I have and not spend excessively.
I love you so much.



With all my love,

sexy wifey

Hello!

SO how are things?

For one, I have finished medical shool and had passed the board exam. Needless to say, I am now a full-fledged doctor with an accompanying MBA degree. The road has truly been long and tortuous as the past pages would show. But here I am now.

Yes here I am now. What have I been up to of recent?
I am currently applying in the Armed Forces in hopes to become a military doctor. But in the meantime, I am moonlighting on the side and taking up online courses. In the following posts, you'll see my two cents on some of our readings.

I do hope to post more often. We'll see.

finding myself.

NOW that A has left for work again, I find myself alone one more time. My world has changed ever since I met the love of my life. No. My world has changed because everything changes, sooner or later. Looking back, there are a lot of things I have gained -a new love, new perspective, new attitude. There are also a lot of things I have lost along the way -some good, some bad. Here I hope to pick some of the good things back again and gain more along the way.

This is how I plan to do it.
1. journal - I used to love to write. i used to be good at it. Two journals, a prying fatso and a piggy later, I abandoned them all together. I've been in a lot of pressure lately and has not been handling stress well. In fact, I'm starting to regress. I hope that with this, I could put my thoughts to rest and be able to make space for better things.

2. planner - I started using a planner when I missed an exam just because I lost track of the day. There has been a point in my life that I became so obsessed with these little things. And back then, honestly, my life was more organized, my brain less cluttered. I could use a little less clutter right now. From now on, I'll including looking at my planner as part of my daily routine.

3. tickler - One of the most valuable things that I learned from my corps days was carrying a tickler. I was never found without one. Until a few months and a couple of tight uniforms later, my tickler lost its place in my outfit. I'll find you somehow.

4. whiteboard - I would usually get up early in the morning only to forget what I needed to do. Hours later, I remember what they were but then my alarm rings, it's time to go to school.

5. artofmanliness (along with If and anthologies) - and what is more, you'll be a man my son.

6. dumpnotes - oh those were the good old days that I still have time to read for leisure. I hope to find time again.

6. binder - It may still be too early in this phase. But we'll see. Don't worry.

One way or another I'm gonna find ya
I'm gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha
One way or another I'm gonna win ya
I'll getcha, I'll getcha
One way or another I'm gonna see ya
I'm gonna meetcha meetcha meetcha meetcha
One day, maybe next week
I'm gonna meetcha, I'll meetcha! 

heart strong

A told me that I was weak -my body, my mind and my will, little by little, is failing me.
I refuse to bow down! I will strive to be strong! I will be strong!

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
to serve your turn long after they are gone,   
and so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

hold on!

YOU must want it. 

You must want it as much your lungs wants oxygen!

The more you sweat in training,

the less you bleed in war.

Just go! Go for the black out.

Do not go gently into the night

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on that sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

I am becoming dry. I mus spark brilliance again.

first love.

A wasn't my first love. Nope. I fell in love with nature even before I learned that I wanted to be a doctor. I had always been fascinated with forests and mountains and seas. I wanted to be an environmentalist even back then. The problem is, I have no idea how.

Fast forward to more than a decade later, I have almost given up on that dream. I decided that there are more pressing issues such as poverty and hunger that needed to be solved. I am now on my way to becoming a doctor. I see it as a means to achieving whatever I plan for the future. But don't get me wrong, I still feel in awe whenever I see the vast expanse (or the lack thereof) of natural foliage and fauna. However, saving Mother Earth is best left to those like Anna Oposa (how I wish i could be more like you).

Vietnamese coffee farmers handpick coffee
beans which they sell to wholesalers that
exports them to instant coffee manufacturers.

I called in sick today (on the advice of A). Aside from fever, chills, cough and flu, I think I have UTI again. My body failing me for the nth time now.  To rest my mind off work, I decided to watch these culinary documentaries (Chinese food and Coffee). As it turns out, food isn't just about food. Behind tasty dishes are complex political issues.Watching these films, it is hard not to see how everything is so interconnected. How the cup of coffee sitting in my desk is a result of a long struggle for a nation's independence and a person's day to day survival.

In Vietnam, almost all of their farmers now grows Robusta coffee. They have abandoned farming rice, rubber and other crops. They say coffee is more profitable. A few sacks of coffee beans is equal to several sacks of maize. Yet, the amount of money they earn is just enough to get by. Environmental conservationists claims that coffee farming in Vietnam is not sustainable. But what can they do?

Bustling streets of China

In China, more and more people are moving to the cities -the biggest human migration the world has ever seen. As older generations try to preserve their culture, practices and their environment deep in the mountains of China, developers are increasingly encroaching on these lands. There is once again the dilemma of economic prosperity vs cultural identity, urban development vs environmental conservation.

I remember the first time I went to Mt Banahaw. I was so amazed by the mountains, its cool weather and vast foliage that I quickly said to myself, "I wanted to live here!". But then, reality struck me and I figure, if I stayed there, I'll be living an isolated life and I would be turning my back on the things I wanted to accomplish. Yes, it is nice to live in such a peaceful place but I believe I have a social responsibility that I need to accomplish and I wont be able to do it by living in the mountains. The real action is here in the heart of the city. I could create way for significant change by staying here in the city. 

But I think the real solution is finding a way to strike the right balance between environmental conservationism and economic prosperity, modernism and preserving cultural identity. Many companies are now adapting sustainable entrepreneurship, green revolution, and triple bottomlines. But these trends are barely scratching the surface. There is still a bigger interplay that involves many small individuals, caught between trying to survive at the moment and preserving their past for the future.