goodbye 2012.

THIS years has been very difficult. In the 22 years of my existence, this has got to be my rock bottom. A lot of things have happened that made me realize the realities of life. Nevertheless, the most valuable lesson I learned this year is to never ever let yourself be vulnerable.

Goodbye 2012. I hope I never have to go through you again.

sigh. again.

LIFE is becoming harder to live day by day. :(

just live strong...

waiting.

IT'S been five months since you left and nineteen more months before your return. In the five months that you've been gone, my life has been series of waiting -one post at a time; one message until the next. There were days that I would just spend my time sleeping, waking up only to check if you had already left a message. These were the moments wherein your absence seems almost unbearable -frustrating that no matter how much I will it, you won't be here anytime soon; that if only I could sleep and everything would be okay.

Since you've been gone, I felt that my life has come to a halt. I refused to go to parties because I wanted my next drink be with you. I refused to go on mall sales because I wanted to shop clothes with you. I refused to have my glasses fixed because I wanted to pick out a new frame with you. I refused to go to Cebu because I wanted my first plane ride be with you. And sometimes I think that I want to delay school so that I could experience medschool with you. It's just that in two years, a lot of things would happen in my life -big family decisions, clerkship, the prime of my youth! -things that I consider milestones, things that I would later remember years from now. And these are the things that I don't want you to miss out in my life. I have already missed out on most of your youth, when you were still young and idealistic and passionate and crazy. Hence, I don't want you to miss out on my youth too. And so, I try as I might to put them off, all of them off, even the very little things until you're here.

Nineteen more months of waiting.