IT'S been five months since you left and nineteen more months before your return. In the five months that you've been gone, my life has been series of waiting -one post at a time;
one message until the next. There were days that I would just spend my time sleeping, waking up only to check if you had already left a message. These were the moments wherein your absence seems almost unbearable -frustrating that no matter how much I will it, you won't be here anytime soon; that if only I could sleep and everything would be okay.
Since you've been gone, I felt that my life has come to a halt. I refused to go to parties because I wanted my next drink be with you. I refused to go on mall sales because I wanted to shop clothes with you. I refused to have my glasses fixed because I wanted to pick out a new frame with you. I refused to go to Cebu because I wanted my first plane ride be with you. And sometimes I think that I want to delay school so that I could experience medschool with you. It's just that in two years, a lot of things would happen in my life -big family decisions, clerkship, the prime of my youth! -things that I consider milestones, things that I would later remember years from now. And these are the things that I don't want you to miss out in my life. I have already missed out on most of your youth, when you were still young and idealistic and passionate and crazy. Hence, I don't want you to miss out on my youth too. And so, I try as I might to put them off, all of them off, even the very little things until you're here.
Nineteen more months of waiting.