Edited repost
“CHARISMA is a primal energy, a sexual energy, a spiritual energy." If you accept that definition, then we all have it. The question is not can I have it, but what are some of the ways in which I can access this energy to bring more out of me and connect more people to me?
Indeed. Here are four ways we can all get a bit more charismatic, starting today.
1. Hone Your Hidden Social Signals.
“Honest signals” refers to the nonverbal cues that social species—like us—use to fine-tune our communication. Interestingly, they actually impact the person you’re talking to. In other words, the more happy and upbeat you are, the more so your conversation partner becomes. There are biological functions that transfer the signals. “If I’m happy, it almost literally rubs off on you.”
2. Be a Better Reflector
Be more energetic. Talk more, but also listen more. Pick up better on cues from others, draw people out by asking questions, and get them to be more outgoing.
One strategy is mirroring: tilting your head the same way or imitating the stance of the person you’re talking to makes the two of you more empathic, more in sync.
3. Quit Being So Polite
Common ground is, in many ways, a wonderful thing,. The singular quest to find it, however, is not. It puts a strain on a conversation. Common ground means you will like me. You will not feel uncomfortable. More importantly, common ground means I won’t feel uncomfortable. We will have a pleasant and neatly bound conversation. And, yes, it will remain ever so predictable and fake.
Instead of discussing the weather, go a level deeper. When we reveal something personal, it gives our listener permission to do the same. It is oversharing, but the more risks we take in being vulnerable, the more people are drawn to us because we seem real.
4. Show More of Yourself
Think to yourself, ‘What are some unexpected things going on in my life that are appropriate to share?’ In fact, the two biggest liabilities when it comes to unleashing charisma are not being curious about the person you’re speaking to—and not sharing enough about yourself.
When it comes down to it, charisma comes from authenticity and we do ourselves a disservice by not showing up as our whole selves. “A lot of us have so much hidden inside that we don’t reveal,”